From a grieving sister....

"Over the weekend I found myself sitting beside my brothers grave on the family farm. It hit me again, as if I were hearing the news for the first time again...He is gone. Only I wasn't on my hands and knees vomiting on the side of I-66 after trying in vain to get to the hospital in NY from DC. Instead I was sitting on a cast iron bench in the hot sun looking down at a patch of dirt that has sunk an inch lower since he was buried last May. My brother is beneath the ground. He is gone. Forever. From me, from my parents, my siblings and his children. I thought this was supposed to get easier. I was told that the pain would lessen. But I feel his absence more now than I ever have and his absence is apparent everywhere I looked on the farm." -

 

Amanda (Bevins) Barr

 

 

This is one of the hardest things about losing a child....being unable to help, comfort, fix, or make everything better for those who are hurting as much as I am.  Knowing that we all want to be fixed...looking to one another for help but seeing the same pain reflected in each other's eyes.  We all want to feel better, but none of us possess the ability to bandage up the gaping wounds that have been left in our now broken hearts.